If you’ve made your way here to this blog, it’s probably because you’ve heard about pegging, want to learn why it’s popular, and what makes it so enjoyable. 

Though once considered taboo, it’s now recognized as a fun, intimate, and empowering practice that couples of all dynamics can enjoy together. 

Whether you’re curious about trying it for the first time or looking to expand your knowledge, this guide will help you understand the basics of pegging, who enjoys it, what’s required, and how to begin safely.

What is pegging? 

Pegging, also known as strap-on play, is when one person uses a strap-on dildo to penetrate another anally. A key element of pegging is “role reversal”, where the partner who is usually penetrated becomes the one penetrating.  

Pegging is typically associated with straight couples, which explains why online search results mostly yield cis women penetrating cis men, but pegging can be enjoyed by anyone of any gender identity or sexual orientation. 

At its core, pegging combines anal sex play with role swapping, allowing partners to explore new sensations, dynamics, and power exchange.

Should you add pegging to your sex life?

There are many elements to pegging that can make it pleasurable and dynamic for everyone involved. If you’re curious about any (or all) of the following, you just might need to give pegging a try: 

Prostate Stimulation

One of the most favored aspects of pegging is how it directly stimulates the oft-forgotten prostate, also known as the “male G-spot” or the “p-spot.” And just as the nicknames suggest, it’s very pleasurable when the prostate is stimulated. But the pleasure isn’t just limited to the person being penetrated alone. For the penetrator, it can be immensely arousing to give your partner the gift of p-spot pleasure.

Role Reversal

By the top becoming the bottom and vice versa, pegging offers the penetrating partner a chance to take control while the receiving partner embraces vulnerability.

Power Exchange

If you’re interested in exploring pegging in the context of BDSM, the natural power play that occurs in pegging makes it an easy activity to include in BDSM scenes. Dominance and submission can easily be blended into pegging, whether pegging is the main event or one activity alongside others in a scene.

What do you need to get started?

Pegging requires some essentials beforehand, from gear to conversations to mental preparation. 

1) Strap-On Harness & Dildo 

The two must-have pegging gear: a dildo and strap-on harness, of course!  

There are lots of options out there, so here’s a little advice to help narrow down your search: choose a beginner-friendly dildo and a strap-in harness that fits snugly against your body, ideally with adjustable straps.

Recommendation:

[products=blog_pegging101_straponkit]

For the dildo, we suggest something not too large with a smooth surface. Aim for a dildo with a shaft less than 1.5” in girth and 6” in length. 

Recommendation: 

[products=blog_pegging101_dildos]

Strap-on harnesses come in a variety of styles, and we recommend harnesses with adjustable straps to ensure a tight but comfortable fit. Harnesses made with stretchier materials, like fabric, are more likely to lag in between thrusts, making it more difficult to control your movements and force. These limitations can be difficult to accommodate if you’re a beginner (and anyone in general), but if you’re most drawn to a harness made with fabric, be sure to read the manufacturer’s size guide to ensure you choose the size that’ll fit best. 

Recommendation:

[products=blog_pegging101_straponharnesses]

2) Enema Gear

Enema gear is used to clean out the rectum so you don’t have to worry about unexpected surprises. While not a requirement, using something like an enema bulb before playing can help both partners relax and feel confident. Not sure what an enema is or how to do it? Check out our guide on how to use an enema bulb.

Recommendation:

[products=blog_pegging101_enemabulb]

3) Plenty of Lube

Silicone or water-based lube is non-negotiable. The anus doesn’t self-lubricate, so generous lube is needed for comfort, pleasure, and to avoid tearing.  

Caution: If you’re using a silicone dildo/toy, be sure to use water-based lube – silicone lube breaks down other silicone surfaces! 

Recommendation:

[products=blog_pegging101_lube]

4) Condoms (optional)

If you plan to use your toys/dildos with multiple partners, you can use a condom to practice safe sex. Plus, they’re also great for easy cleanup!
Tip: Read through condom product labels for what lube the condom is coated with before using it with silicone toys because some condoms are made with silicone lube, which degrade silicone toys. 

5) Communication

As with any sexual or kinky activity, communication is key! Especially as you explore a new activity, it’s incredibly important to consistently communicate with your partner before, during, and after playing. It’s crucial to discuss boundaries, safe words, and comfort levels with your partner. Learn more about navigating safety and consent discussions in our safety and consent guide. 

6) Patience & Relaxation

Taking it slow is key, especially for beginners. We highly recommend warming up and only beginning when both partners are turned on and ready for penetration. If either partner is new to anal, be sure to ease the toy/dildo in slowly. Once you’re both ready for movement, start off with gentle, controlled thrusts. As we said earlier, sure to communicate throughout, and don’t be afraid to pause or stop altogether if either partner needs to. 

Beginner Pegging Positions 

When starting out, comfort and control are more important than intensity. Here are some of the most accessible positions for first-timers: 

Missionary (bottom on back)

In this position, the bottom lies on their back with legs raised, allowing for eye contact and easy communication.

Doggy Style (bottom on hands and knees)

A classic position that gives the penetrating partner more control over thrust depth, speed, and strength.

Spoon Position

Both partners lie on their sides, with the top behind. This position is intimate, comfortable, and can be less physically demanding.

On Top (bottom straddling)

In this position, the bottom sits on the strap-on, giving the bottom full control of depth and speed. 

What to Wear

While the main equipment is the strap-on harness, another important aspect of pegging is your headspace. Wearing clothing that fits the role you want to embody, whether that be more Dominant or submissive, is a great way to slip into the mindset.

As with anything, there’s a variety of avenues to explore. Lingerie/lingerie strap-on harnesses, BDSM clothing, and roleplaying outfits are all great options.

While pegging doesn’t require gear beyond a harness and a dildo, dressing up can enhance the experience and open doors to more exploration! 

Why Pegging Can Deepen Intimacy

Pegging is a chance to explore trust, vulnerability, and pleasure in new ways. For the bottom, it can open the door to powerful sensations and prostate stimulation. For the top, it offers empowerment, playfulness, and a new perspective on intimacy. Together, pegging allows couples to strengthen communication, break down taboos, and keep your sex life adventurous and exciting.  

About the Author 

Our blog is collaboratively written by our passionate team at Bondesque, a BDSM and kink store offering products online and in-store in Minneapolis, MN. With decades of combined experience, we’re a diverse group of BDSM practitioners in the lifestyle, from dominants to submissives and everyone in between. We are deeply committed to educating others on how to engage in BDSM consensually, safely, and (most importantly) pleasurably.  

Our goal is to break the taboo and offer guidance in a realm that’s often misunderstood. Our expertise spans a wide array of BDSM practices, including domination and submission, chastity play, bondage, impact play, fetish fashion, D/s dynamics, the use of sex toys, and more.  

Whether you’re a curious beginner or a seasoned enthusiast, we’re here to offer tips, advice, and a wealth of knowledge to enhance your journey. We hope that you enjoy our blogs and find what you need from them.